WHAT DO YOU CALL SOMEONE WHO LIKES A BIT OF SLAP & TICKLE?
A slapper? Well, that could be true, although if we're specific, it would depend on whether they're giving the slap & tickle and not receiving it. But as slapper is not construed as a nice name for anyone, it's best if we use the proper terminology and talk about people who like a bit of BDSM.
BDSM: THE ART OF SLAP & TICKLE
BDSM is not what you think. It's not about four specific words; it encompasses different activities which fall under one or more of the four letters. B stands for Bondage, D stands for both Discipline and Dominant, S stands for both Sadism and Submissive and M stands for Masochism. Bondage & Discipline (B&D), Dominance & Submissive (D&S) and Sadism & Masochism (S&M).
In today’s world of required sexual consent, the principles of BDSM are more relevant than ever. In contrast to common opinion, BDSM promotes consent, honesty, trust and most importantly - communication.
BONDAGE & DISCIPLINE
Bondage & Discipline is the most practised element of BDSM and usually involves a person (Submissive) being restrained and often blindfolded while being spanked, whipped or stroked by another (Dominant) to bring about mutual erotic pleasure.
Although BDSM is about exploring sensations of pleasure and pain; most importantly it’s about trust and consent. It requires a relationship built on the trust of a Dominant by a consenting Submissive, to create an environment comfortable enough to enjoy heightened emotional responses to sensations.
Before engaging in any BDSM play, it’s a good idea to agree on a ‘safe word’ to stop playing if either party feels uncomfortable. It may be wise to choose a word you would not normally use in this type of situation.
Also, before engaging in any BDSM play, spend time discussing what you might like, or not like, how much pain you want or don’t want, health concerns, how long you want to play, and definite boundaries you don’t want to cross.
And after engaging in BDSM play, spend time making sure you both felt safe and comfortable and that no physical or emotional boundaries were overstepped. And discuss likes, and dislikes, ask each other questions and give each other honest answers. Then, talk about the new experiences that were good and what you hope to experience next time.
Many couples use bondage play at some point in their relationship, using either toy handcuffs, scarves, ties or belts. But there are restraints of all shapes and sizes - including gags, leg spacers, collars, cuffs, ropes, and tapes.
There are also many toys designed especially for sensation play. The most common are spanking paddles and feather ticklers. But beyond a bit of slap & tickle, sensation play can involve all sorts of toys, depending on how imaginative you are. Crops, whips, masks, gags, hot wax candles, strap ons and nipple & clitoris clamps are all popular toys in bondage play.
BDSM GUIDELINES
· Always use safe and hygienic equipment.
· Do not engage in any BDSM activity you do not have the skills for.
· Do not use equipment not designed for BDSM play. Nobody wants burns or bruises e.g. candle wax play can be nasty if you don’t use paraffin wax candles.
· Do not engage in BDSM play while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.
· Do not engage in any BDSM activity you do not have the skills for.
· Start gently. Go slow. Increase the level of any sensation-play in small increments.
· Build relationships based on trust and consent.